How a woman cooks a barbeque…How a man cooks a barbeque…
I would like to clarify that this article is intended to be entirely satirical. I am taking the piss based on stereotypical opinions and in no way does this represent my true assumptions on the matter. So please, don’t take it seriously, have a giggle 🙂
HOW A WOMAN COOKS A BARBEQUE…
-24 hours prior to barbeque the woman confirms predicted attendance numbers by studying R.S.V.P’s and meticulously telephoning anyone who has not replied.
-The woman forms a detailed list of brands and volumes of food and drink required, based upon guests sex-weight ratio.
-List generally includes, beer, wine, six varieties of soft drink, lettuce, tomato, three cheeses, carrots, cabbage, onions, potatoes, two types of pasta, butter, margarine and canola spread, low fat mayonnaise, cheese cracker biscuits, semi sun-dried tomatoes, salami – both hot and mild, kabana, mustard, tomato sauce, barbeque sauce, black pepper, white pepper, rock salt, table salt, sea salt, extra virgin first cold pressed olive oil bought only in a green bottle, paper towel, plastic knives, forks, plates and cups, white bread, brown bread, wholegrain bread, white rolls, brown rolls, wholegrain rolls, nineteen varieties of gourmet sausages, chicken sausages, gluten free sausages, bone free chops, marinated steaks, chicken bits, both honey soy and satay, a new spatula, tongs and apron, hamburgers, lamb burgers, chicken burgers, beef burgers, tofu burgers and veggie burgers.